I stared at his blood work print out and couldn’t help but fight back tears, filling with immense guilt. This is all my doing. I prepared the meals. I shopped for household food. And the nights I was so tired from juggling work and home duties? Well, I found comfort greeting the headset wearing fast food employee who dutifully executed our order. I knew the items I fed my husband and children weren’t of the best nutritional value. I knew Hubs lengthy family history with heart problems. I was so wrapped up in getting everything done quickly…I didn’t think about doing things RIGHT. I concerned myself with the moment, instead of the future. From this second forward I am not only going to take more care as to what goes in to Hubs mouth, but also my children’s and my own. We find humor after a long day of this-kid-killing-that-kid, the hustle and bustle of children’s sporting and musical events and all that whining, in imagining us…together…in an empty house. Finding calm in the ticking of a clock as my Grandparents did. In the excitement of an update on our children’s successful lives and that of our grandchildren. The pleasure of a weekend visit from a grandchild, or three or four, filling the house with love and laughter…only to return to their parents care before there was any REAL parenting to do. The traveling…the idea of us a little bit wrinkled and weary from the years of working and parenting young children soaking our old bones in the ocean as the warm sun soaks us with happiness, brings a smile to my face right now.